And somehow this feelings coming back. My mids racing and i keep on spinning. pretty soon im going to throw up my heart. Was everything up until now a pointless mess of confusion and lies? All the hurt, all the happiness, all the secrets and the cheating, all the manipulating got us nowhere, Because after everything i’ve been through, everything we’ve been through, im back to where i started. Are you? i sure as hell fucking hope so. The web that im caught up in contains all our memories and when i pull free i fear that they will be left behind. i fear that i will be left behind. because while im tangled up here, trying to break free, your moving forwards. moving on. And i have to say that didnt last long, or maybe it did. i cant rememer. and i cant see exactly how far away you are but i know its going to take a miricale to get you back, im just in no position to perform one. im not even sure i want to, because to be completely honest, i hate you. actually no, thats a lie. i dont hate you. i hate what you do, i hate that you can make me feel like this and i hate that after a the bullshit and all the pain i still love you. deep down, ill always love. i hate myself.